Department stores and Pure Engrish

Yesterday I visited a "Depaato," which is Japanese for "Department Store." Going to a department store doesn't sound like a very interesting or touristy thing to do, but this is not your average Macy's. Japanese depaatos are of titanic proportions. The one I visited was 12 floors high. It was like a Safeway, Wallgreen's, Nordstroms, and Staples all stacked on top of each other. I went around exploring the grocery store on the bottom, the cute Japanese stationary on the 6th floor, the kimonos on the 10th floor, and other areas. There are restaurants on the top floor, too. There are lots of western brands here, like Gucci, Louis Viutton, Occtane de Provence, and of course Starbucks. The whole store was very crowded.

I noticed that people often hang their umbrellas on the handles of their bikes, obviously not concerned about them being stolen. Japan has a lower crime rate than the US, and petty theft is rare. Yesterday the reason why became clear to me. The Japanese place their policemen on a pedestal. Literally. In the train station you can see the occasional police man standing on a small blue platform labeled "POLICE." They stand there perfectly still, looking serious and authoritative, and holding a very big stick. Would you steal bikes with that guy around? I sure wouldn't. I'll try to get a picture of one of these policemen for you guys, but they look so intimidating I'm a little hesitant to go up to one and say, "hey, can I take a picture really fast?"

The breakfast buffet at my hotel has all the food and condiments labeled in Japanese and English. But the English is so bad that I wonder why they went through the trouble if they couldn't even be bothered to use a dictionary. The knives are labeled "naahu," the forks are "hooku," the soy sauce is "source," and the orange juice is "orenge juice." These are simply attempts to English-ify the Japanese borrowed words; for example, the Japanese word for "knife" is "naifu," which they then tried to translate into English as "naahu." This isn't English, it's English's twice-removed cousin. Pure Engrish. So I wrote down the correct spellings on a napkin and gave it to one of the cooks. I wonder if they'll do anything about it. Maybe they don't really care- do the forks really need a label anyway?