Tonight we had a very uncomfortable family dinner. My host mom had had a busy evening driving the boys to and from karate class, and they were being very troublesome about taking a bath. So she didn't have dinner ready until pretty late in the evening. My host Dad, who as far as I had seen had not lifted a finger to help, was not happy about this.
"Geez, it's already 8:30!" He whined. "It's so late, what have you been doing? Kelley, you must be starving, aren't you?"
Woah, mister. Don't bring me into this.
"She must be very busy," I tried to say tactfully.
"It's 8:30 already!" He continued.
"Shut up." My host mom said quietly.
"You said it would be ready by-"
"Shut up."
At dinner no one made any conversation. Just to be mean, the older host brother stole some food from the younger one, who started to cry, and I could see my host mom seething in her chair. When my host dad finished he left without a "gochisosama," ("thank you for the food") which is quite rude in Japanese culture. My host mom started snapping at her sons who were making a mess with their food. And of course, everyone left their dishes for her to clean up afterwards. As usual I offered to help with the washing, and as usual she insisted that it was not necessary. Tonight I felt really bad for her so I tried a little harder though.
"In America, the person who cooks and the person who washes the dishes are never the same person." I said.
"Really?" said my host mom. "Japanese men never do the washing. Since long, long ago, they have never done it."
I miss my daddy, who brings my mom flowers just because, cooks nice dinners when she's not feeling well, and never lets her do the dishes.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Can't blend in
I had heard that foreigners often get stared at by Japanese people, so when I came to Japan I was prepared for that. At first I was almost disappointed that so few people seemed to notice me. In Nagoya, being the center of Japan's auto industry, I think there are relatively a lot of foreigners, especially in the area around my university. In my host family's town, which is in the country, (sorta) staring occurs more often though.
The majority of starers are little kids, so I don't mind. Besides, the great thing about little kids is that if you stare back at them, they don't get embarrassed and quickly look away. They just keep staring.
Old men also stare sometimes. One guy at the train station saw me, and his jaw dropped to the floor and his eyes got big and he stood frozen like that, quite unabashedly. About 30 seconds later I looked behind again and he was still in the exact same position. Godzilla could have just bought a ticket and boarded the train and his expression would have been the same. I imitated this for my host family at the dinner table and they said I looked like a Tom and Jerry cartoon.
Yesterday I was walking past a group of elementary schoolers who, like me, were on their way home from school. The boys were looking at me and giggling amongst each other when the bravest one shouted out to me, "haro!" which is the Japanese attempt at "hello." The funny thing was is that he rolled his "r" dramatically, as if speaking Italian, so it was more like "harrrrrro!"
This evening I went for a walk around my neighborhood. Two elderly ladies stopped me and started a little conversation, asking if I was from America and such. "You're very beautiful," they kept repeating. "Such white skin!" Yes, pale skin is preferred to tan skin here. Did I go to the right country or what?
Today I was talking to a fellow exchange student who is African-American and has a small mohawk. He says that when he boards the train here little kids freak out. He also said that he always tries to be really nice to the little kids so that when the next election comes around, they'll vote for him and he'll become the first foreign-born Japanese emperor.
The majority of starers are little kids, so I don't mind. Besides, the great thing about little kids is that if you stare back at them, they don't get embarrassed and quickly look away. They just keep staring.
Old men also stare sometimes. One guy at the train station saw me, and his jaw dropped to the floor and his eyes got big and he stood frozen like that, quite unabashedly. About 30 seconds later I looked behind again and he was still in the exact same position. Godzilla could have just bought a ticket and boarded the train and his expression would have been the same. I imitated this for my host family at the dinner table and they said I looked like a Tom and Jerry cartoon.
Yesterday I was walking past a group of elementary schoolers who, like me, were on their way home from school. The boys were looking at me and giggling amongst each other when the bravest one shouted out to me, "haro!" which is the Japanese attempt at "hello." The funny thing was is that he rolled his "r" dramatically, as if speaking Italian, so it was more like "harrrrrro!"
This evening I went for a walk around my neighborhood. Two elderly ladies stopped me and started a little conversation, asking if I was from America and such. "You're very beautiful," they kept repeating. "Such white skin!" Yes, pale skin is preferred to tan skin here. Did I go to the right country or what?
Today I was talking to a fellow exchange student who is African-American and has a small mohawk. He says that when he boards the train here little kids freak out. He also said that he always tries to be really nice to the little kids so that when the next election comes around, they'll vote for him and he'll become the first foreign-born Japanese emperor.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Tips for Colleen
My friend Colleen will be studying abroad in Tokyo soon. I thought I would give her some tips and let you guys read them too, to get an idea of the stuff I encounter during my life here:
1. Carry a small washcloth with you. The public bathrooms don't have paper towels or hand dryers; everyone carries their own personal washcloth.
2. It rains a lot here, so bring a foldable umbrella and practical pants.
3. At the train station, on the edge of the platform are markings where the train doors will open. People line up behind these markings while waiting for the train. It's rude to cut in front of the line, so be careful where you stand.
4. Convenience stores and supermarkets have inexpensive and tasty food, good for lunches. You will learn to love them.
5. 7-11 stores are everywhere, and they have international ATMs where you can use your American ATM card. (Probably. It doesn't work for everyone, but I use it.) It charges your card $5 per transaction.
6. Bring cash. Credit cards are not used as widely as they are in the US, so don't rely on being able to use yours at a store or restaurant.
7. People may refer to you as "gaijin-san," but this is not meant offensively.
8. In restaurants, sometimes a warm, moist towlette will be brought to you before your meal. This is to clean your hands with before you eat.
9. I haven't seen many 3-prong outlets here, so bring a converter if you need one.
10. When paying for something at a store or restaurant, usually there will be a small tray on the counter or fixed to the register. You put your cash in the tray, and the cashier will take it from the tray. I don't know why. That's just the way it is. Before I knew this, at a store I handed my cash directly to the cashier. She took it from me, placed it in the tray, and then took it from the tray. It's serious business.
1. Carry a small washcloth with you. The public bathrooms don't have paper towels or hand dryers; everyone carries their own personal washcloth.
2. It rains a lot here, so bring a foldable umbrella and practical pants.
3. At the train station, on the edge of the platform are markings where the train doors will open. People line up behind these markings while waiting for the train. It's rude to cut in front of the line, so be careful where you stand.
4. Convenience stores and supermarkets have inexpensive and tasty food, good for lunches. You will learn to love them.
5. 7-11 stores are everywhere, and they have international ATMs where you can use your American ATM card. (Probably. It doesn't work for everyone, but I use it.) It charges your card $5 per transaction.
6. Bring cash. Credit cards are not used as widely as they are in the US, so don't rely on being able to use yours at a store or restaurant.
7. People may refer to you as "gaijin-san," but this is not meant offensively.
8. In restaurants, sometimes a warm, moist towlette will be brought to you before your meal. This is to clean your hands with before you eat.
9. I haven't seen many 3-prong outlets here, so bring a converter if you need one.
10. When paying for something at a store or restaurant, usually there will be a small tray on the counter or fixed to the register. You put your cash in the tray, and the cashier will take it from the tray. I don't know why. That's just the way it is. Before I knew this, at a store I handed my cash directly to the cashier. She took it from me, placed it in the tray, and then took it from the tray. It's serious business.
Just stuff
Japan is NOT living up to its reputation for being the world headquarters for the latest technology.
The computers for student use at my campus are like dinosaurs making their way up a river of caramel. Old and slow. Also, in order to obtain a school email address, we had to load a program onto a floppy disk. A floppy disk? Old school! Today we had an orientation for using the school network on our personal laptops. It took them nearly an hour to explain it to us, and we had to change a million settings on our computer as well as install a new program. Did I mention that it's not wireless? There is no wireless network on campus. Oh, and we're not allowed to use Skype at school. In fact, we're not supposed to use the school network for anything other than "education and research purposes." As if.
Good grief. Back at the good 'ol Silicon Valley we just signed up for a user name and password, then had wireless internet anywhere on campus.
Current score: America, 1. Japan, 0.
I did learn a new haiku in class though:
akaishinboo
minna de watareba
kowakunai.
Translation:
It's a red light
If we all walk together
We are not afraid.
The computers for student use at my campus are like dinosaurs making their way up a river of caramel. Old and slow. Also, in order to obtain a school email address, we had to load a program onto a floppy disk. A floppy disk? Old school! Today we had an orientation for using the school network on our personal laptops. It took them nearly an hour to explain it to us, and we had to change a million settings on our computer as well as install a new program. Did I mention that it's not wireless? There is no wireless network on campus. Oh, and we're not allowed to use Skype at school. In fact, we're not supposed to use the school network for anything other than "education and research purposes." As if.
Good grief. Back at the good 'ol Silicon Valley we just signed up for a user name and password, then had wireless internet anywhere on campus.
Current score: America, 1. Japan, 0.
I did learn a new haiku in class though:
akaishinboo
minna de watareba
kowakunai.
Translation:
It's a red light
If we all walk together
We are not afraid.
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